im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This baby is an asshole
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
