I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize