I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
