And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
