I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
one might say we're banned from that church
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
