I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
