Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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