Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
