tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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