you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
