If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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