Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
