Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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