and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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