I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
