David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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