bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
