that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
