I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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