are you still at the devil's house?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
