dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
