okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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