yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
