its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize