when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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