I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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