can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
