is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
