with your own penis?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
