I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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