smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I queefed so loud it echoed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
