I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
