i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
