it was like eating out sand paper
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
