I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
