There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
