Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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