It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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