I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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