I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
