Having a random hookup so left but love u
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
