ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hate all girls vehemently.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
