Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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