I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
