Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
