ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
