Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
