yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They have beer where we have blood.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
