god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My feet surprised me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
