Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
