I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
