you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
