Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was like eating out sand paper
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
