Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
