Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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