census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
