I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
