Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Panties = found
Randomize
