Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize