Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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