i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
