I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
