M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
