I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
