so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I want is dick and wine.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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