do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Randomize
