i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
