Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
