Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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