okay pat passed out under dana's car
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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